Picking up the Pieces

So I thought I'd update my status for those that don't already know. On tap last night was a speed workout prior to our race in Windsor this Saturday. I hadn't run in essentially 3 days, but my hip was feeling slightly better than it was the last couple days, not 100% but I wanted to atleast give the workout a go, what's the worse that could happen right the hip tightens up and I stop right? Well after the 20 minute warmup and about a mile into the tempo run, I was slightly dropping off our pack a bit and worked hard to get back up with the group. The hip felt very weird and uncomfortable but not terrible. At almost exactly the 2km marker within about a 5 second span that hip went from feeling mediocre to a 10 on the pain scale - meaning the worst pain you can imagine. I instantly had to pull up and stop dead in my tracks. I couldn't lift my left leg off the ground, and starting hobbling back to campus. After what felt like an eternity, I guess word traveled up through the different pace groups that I had really hurt myself, and one of the coaches circled back to get me to get me on his bike to make it back to campus. The coaches and my fellow teammates would come talk to me and ask how I was but I really didn't feel like talking. At that point I just wanted to be on my own. I've had my fair share of injuries, and I do know what a season ending injury feels like, and this was it. I'm not going to go completely into the details, but basically when I went to sleep that night, which ended up being the most painful and uncomfortable sleeps of my life, other than the night after Around the Bay, I was sure my hip flexor was the issue and probably a severe tear. When I woke up in  the morning now I couldn't actually put weight on the leg, and had to crawl to go to the bathroom. My hero of a Mom, offered to help and drove me to class and to the hospital to get checked. The doctor who I saw in the emergency room was dumb as a brick, and said its a muscle strain take some advil and rest. I said - in my head - you're a %$#@ idiot, I've had about 600,000 muscle strains in my life of being heavily involved in sports, and this seems slightly worse than those previous plus umm what muscle, you haven't done any manual muscle testing to tell me if its rectus femoris, illosoas, adductor longus, gracilis, sarotorius, pectineus, adductor brevis, adductor magnus, let me stop there and say quite frankly there a shit load of muscles in the thigh, which one did I strain and to what degree. You haven't palpated any of the muscles, haven't done extensibility testing, or contractibility testing, hell you the one who went to med school didn't even tell me once to ice the area. This is who they let into med school, my goodness I'm glad I'll be making a fifth of what someone as ignorant and dumb as a post makes. She actually said to me at one point well a strain means some of the muscle fibres have tears, ya I kind of know that, I'm the one who will actually be doing something for their patients not just referring them off to see someone else, I also know that depending how many of those muscle fibres tear is kind of important in terms of prognosis. If 5% have torn well heck I'll be up and running before the end of this post, but if 75% have torn, then I won't be running until atleast Remembrance day. Anyways so I wasn't exactly happy with the diagnosis, well because, there was none. So I had to ask her "can I have an ultrasound". She says back in a snarky way well what do you think an ultrasound is going to show. In my head now, "Frank play nice, don't give her that face, you know the one like what ever happened to natural selection, you know only the smart and strong survive." Now out loud, well Dr. the diagnostic ultrasound will allow us to non-invasively see the extend of the soft tissue injury which will allow us to organize a safe, effective, and realistic protocol for the patient, me. Plus its cheaper and faster to use than an MRI, and is still extremely sensitive for tendon tears, muscle tears, cartilage injuries, inflammation, nerve entrapment, whatever. So she referred me for an ultrasound. So glad that I'm in Canada with free access to healthcare. Now I can see why we offer it for free, just send people off to crawl around campus chewing advil, no testing, no imaging, no diagnosis. You realize if I was in the States, I would have had every diagnostic test even unnecessary ones done on me to figure out exactly what was wrong for insurance purposes. Hell it would cost a lot of money, but really if you don't value health than what do you value - Shit I just thought that will be my slogan for my clinic "If you don't value health than what do you value," or it could be my ad campaign running for office and say GO PRIVATE at the bottom. So my season may be over who knows, I could be out for a few weeks with a minor strain, could be out about 6-8 weeks with a moderate one, and could be 3,4,5,6 months if its a grade 3 tear. At this point I don't know, if there is bruising on the hip in the next couple days than it means I won't be running or maybe going pro cycling until 2015 since it means a complete tear. Basically at this point I'm in the ? zone, or in sporting terms I'm out indefinitely. Update you all later until the storm clears and I can hit the cross training block harder than ever. Until then I think I've said it before in another post but I will remind you again, happy running, and I mean it. You could waste you life working all day and living like a sloth at night or put those bright coloured shoes on go outside and feel the air rushing pass your face, your heart pumping good clean blood to every corner of your body, get lost in the challenge, and just run.

Update

So you remember my last blog post finishing with a somewhat optimistic sounding Frank. I had crushed the tempo run last Friday, then a great long run, and another good workout on Monday. Well at the end of Monday's run I twinged my left hip flexor a little, got some therapy on it afterwards, and thought that was the end of that. Then Tuesday morning came and an early run with a group of guys on a gorgeous trail on the north shore (around the coots paradise marsh). Hard not to enjoy the beautiful early morning sun rising over the bay and the scenic views right? Well if your hip feels like a rope then I could see how it may not be enjoyable. But after about 5k felt alright for the rest of the run. Doubled on Wednesday, and on the second run my whole body was feeling run down. Decided to take Thursday off from running, and then was back on the trails on Friday. Sure the tibia was still hurting bad, but now I was actually noticeably limping around campus because of my hip flexor, and having a real tough time just getting up and out of chairs. Literally every time I tried to move it felt like a knife was being jammed and twisted into my hip. The hour and a bit of physiotherapy I got on Thursday obviously didn't help very much even though I had two people working on me at the same time, one doing ultrasound on my "could be" stress fracture, the other doing some soft tissue work on my hip. The physio there seems to think the contralateral hip pain is a stemming from compensating because of my other leg's injury, and now it has progressed into a pretty significant muscle tear. Saturday we were in Western, where our men's team won with record 44 points. I tempo-ed the course prior to the women's race and struggled my way through, but grinded for still a pretty decent time especially considering the incredibly difficult course they had set up - wow it was super hilly. Afterwards my hip though was in shambles, so much so that it managed to actually distract me from the pain in my tibia - I guess our brain can only fully comprehend one pain signal at a time. Sunday morning we had a long run scheduled despite thunderstorms going through the area. Getting ready was a struggle. I'm not even joking or exaggerating, I could not actually lift my leg off the ground to put my leg into my running shorts and had to lay down to pull the shorts on. Decided to go over to the high performance centre prior to the run to try and warmup my hip on the bike before the run. Ran the first little bit with the team but was it way to much pain and had to turn back and go back to the gym after only 30 minutes. It was a demoralizing and embarrassing feeling having to stop a run and turn around, after all the long run is supposed to be my thing. Ran back in the now pouring rain, and limped in from the run broken once again for the umpteenth time. Climbed onto the bike and pushed myself through a hard hour and 15 minutes on the bike, then did some core, and then jumped into the pool for half an hour. As I swam I thought, sure this doesn't hurt and yet I can't complete one stride without unbearable pain. I'll be taking the next couple days off then run on Wednesday and based on that decide if I'm okay to run on Saturday in Windsor. Also I'll be getting some blood work done this week to see if there is actually something physiologically wrong with my body. To tell you loyal readers the truth, it is getting very difficult to keep trying and hoping to get better when I actually can't remember what it feels like to run without pain. It makes me think maybe this isn't for me, I've put so much into my running physically and emotionally, and I can't tell you how frustrating and disheartening it is to be sidelined time and time again. I was injured at the end of November last year and since then between another injury at Around the Bay in March, the possible stress fracture in August, and now this hip flexor injury on top of it, I calculate that I've been healthy for less than 8 weeks out of the last 11 months approximately, and that was in Park City, and then the next couple weeks afterwards for the summer races. Maybe all my problems stem from my flat feet, maybe I have early osteoartritis from not letting injuries heal properly or completely in the past, I don't know. What I do know is based on Wednesday's run I'm very very close to just saying enough is enough and stopping running all together. Yes it's a big decision, but running in pain is no fun, and why should I waste 25 hours a week not having any fun. It may seem drastic but when you look at my history and see that I've had more than 5 stress fractures in the past four years, countless bouts of severe achilles tendinopathies (like last September around this weekend), prior bouts of hip problems like in my first year of running when I did see a Sports Med doc who said I had partially torn my hip flexor, hamstring injuries like at the 2012 STWM, IT band syndrome the following February, back issues on and off for the past year, and a whole bunch of other twinges and tears, it really isn't that drastic or sudden. Maybe I can put my hard work to some other endeavour, maybe just get on the bike and ride 600k a week with the triathletes here, become an absolute monster on the bike and go for competitive cycling, plus I already got the Mark Cavendish sunglasses for it. I obviously beat the hell out of my body going for the marathon too early at such a young age, not letting myself properly develop to be able to handle it, and now I'm paying the price for it. Sorry for such a downer of a post, I hope that on Wednesday I can actually post good news for once.

September Studs make November Duds

Hi all. My bad on not keep my promise to update the situation after last-last Friday's time trial for the cross country team, things have been rather busy lately. So first off even though it seems weird talking about it well after the fact, Friday night went pretty well. My leg was hurting badly through the warmup and I was very nervous for those opening few strides when I would be forced to put full weight on the leg, and drive off of it. The horn sounded and we were off. The hyped up pace said to be 2:40/km pace did not happen. The big group of guys were running a pretty modest 3:05/km pace for the first few hundred meters, and I thought to myself let's take advantage of the pain killing adrenaline now while it lasts, and I took over the race pulling well into the lead bringing it down to 2:40/km pace and hovering just around 2:48-2:53 until passing the first kilometre in 2:59. Eased off a bit after that and hit the second k in 3:08 and tucked in behind now the pack of leaders (me and 3 other guys). I won't describe the entire race but basically I stayed this way until about 5 k when we got strung out a bit, probably thanks to the +40 degree heat and finished the 6.2 kilometres course around churchill park (course was a bit long) in 19:30. So I made the team and was onto the long run on Saturday. The whole team met up at 8:30 at the track, and then we went off. After about 4 k of running as a whole team we split off into our different groups based on how long everyone was going for. I went in the longest group with 6 other guys and we went for about 2.5 hours through super hilly and awfully slick set of trails after the Friday night storms. All in all a pretty great run. After a decent run on Sunday, trouble struck on Monday. My leg was in extreme pain once again. After a 60k bike ride Tuesday Morning in place of running, went to see the Sports Medicine Doctor here at Mac. He referred me for a bone scan, and said that based on my previous history, and the fact it was a similar spot to where it had heard before, during, and after Around the Bay in March, it was most likely another stress fracture. Fortunately, he also said that since there was also considerable pain on the tibialis posterior muscle which follows the length of the tibia on the medial side, that tibialis posterior tendonopathy was also a possibility. But I decided to keep on running, because well, that's what I do. After all, if it's a stress fracture and took off 4-6 weeks I wouldn't be available for the team until the Canadian Championships at the beginning of November, and I highly doubt that after 4-6 of not running at all, I would be in any sort of race shape to be in the Top 7 on the team chosen to represent McMaster in Newfoundland. So basically, I'll keep on running on it, if it completely breaks (compound fracture) I'll be out a little longer, but either way whether it's a stress fracture or progresses to complete fracture (like the Kevin Ware injury last year when he innocently went to a three-pointer and on the landing snapped is leg is half - and yes he did have a stress fracture leading into that game) I'm out for the season. Wednesday came along and our first speed workout was on tap, and I was feeling pretty good considering the strength and conditioning session the night before called Get Jacked. I won't delve into the details of the workout because I don't think the coaches would appreciate if I released details to other possible competitors about how we work here at Mac. But I'll just say I was an interval style workout at 10k pace - 3:10/km. Thursday me and my fellow runner roommates headed out for a 75 minute run at recovery pace, and up a technical portion of trails called ankle breaker, and after some physiotherapy in the afternoon with some ultrasound, and another strength and conditioning session in the evening + core, the leg was actually feeling okay, not nearly 100%, but better than Monday. On Friday, did more strength work in the morning, and then smoked a tempo run with the team in the evening. Was supposed to be running in a group with 4 others, but felt so good left them and ripped it up the trail. That was the first time in a while I thought recovery was close. Saturday, we went on our team long run doing another 2.5 hours on a seemingly endless set of hilly trails, then had a well deserved team pancake breakfast at one of the girl team member's houses. On Sunday, the leg was not great on my run on my own, and was feeling frustrated once again. But this Monday, absolutely destroyed our toughest interval workout yet. Leg still hurt during the workout, but having a team around me kind of helps to distract myself from the penetrating waves of pain and unstable feeling landing on that bone gives me. The coach called me on the weekend and essentially told me that even though I wanted to, he wanted to give my leg one more week before competing. I gave in because after a good talk, I understand that these early meets are not critical, and that he needs me to be ready come championship season at OUAs and then at CIS. I need to believe in the process, put my faith in our coaching staff and understand that all they want is for me to succeed. They have expressed numerous times to me that they are amazed at how I have been able to accomplish everything that I have with no coach and no team around me. But now, I believe that these coaches can really take me to an even higher level. They really are a great groups of coaches, and with phenomenal running backgrounds themselves from the college level, to one of them competing in the 1992, and 1996 Olympic Games. So 12 of our runners (about half) will be competing at Western on Saturday, and myself and others will still be travelling with the team. Me and two other guys are planning on tempo-ing the course before the races start. Then next Saturday I will debuting in Windsor. From there we will see if I also race in Waterloo the following weekend, but definitely in Kingston on the Thanksgiving weekend. Here is our Men's Team Picture:

A New Chapter Begins with some familiar feelings

What a whirlwind ride of a summer filled with many ups and some unexpected but always inevitable downs. As you know the summer began with my trip to Park City, Utah to train a live like a professional runner, with nothing on the daily schedule expect to run, run, and maybe run again. Also as you know at the tail-end of that trip I received the news that I was in fact accepted into the MSc PT program at McMaster university. From Park City I was back home in Thornhill, ready to take on the competition at a slew of races in the coming months, as well as graduate Summa from York University. In those few weeks I won 5 out of 7 races setting a new PB in each distance the 5k, 10k, and half marathon. Also in the final race of the season I met a few runners from McMaster's cross country/track team. One of whom, Gabriel, invited me to come live with he and a few other athletes at McMaster in the fall. After that race training had a new focus, a new rhythm to it. Instead of building to 240 kilometers and running the marathon in fall where I was hoping to run in the 2:26 range, it was all about cross country. I did 160-170 kilometer for 3 or 4 straight weeks with no problems. Lots of speed work on the track to regain and ingrain that fast leg turnover into my legs necessary for competing with the best in the country. Then after one track workout on a rainy day encompassing a tried and true workout - mile repeats - a little niggle that I had in my right tibia a couple days earlier became an o so serious and too familiar problem. The exact same pain I felt in my leg before Around the bay in March. The next morning I had trouble putting full weight on my leg, and decided instead of just running through it as I did in March I would take the time off now. I took 5 days off completely from running, and then eased back into it with very short runs. The leg was still a uncomfortable. But I figured with cross country season closing in, I couldn't wait another week or two, so I kept running. In my second week back things started progressing quickly. I could feel my leg getting better and even did a tempo run without much issue. In my third week back progress slowed and I could feel regression. The leg was now not getting really any better from day to day, infact after a harder run midweek it felt much worse and I had no pop no explosion off the ground from that leg. Then off to McMaster. Boy the trails hear go forever with beautiful views throughout, and it frustrates me even more why in the world I keep getting injured. I thought my progression was perfect and training methods were even better. I was running in shoes with more cushion, and a couple runs a week running on soft surfaces. Makes me wonder how your muscles and heart, both literally and figuratively, can be so strong and your bones be so weak. With so much motivating factors surrounding me now such as great trails, and great fellow runners, I am constantly reminded of how I'm not able to train how I want and need in order to be competitive. But I've bounced back from injury before and I will once again, this time however, I need to  do so very quickly. Today is the 6km Time Trial to make the team. Boy o boy are there some scary fast runners here, and if I wasn't injured i would be so excited to test my speed against them. Word is most are planning to do the opening kilometer in 2:40. When I'm limping to campus day after day it seems that a 2:40 kilometer may be too rich for my blood. So the plan may be to be content being in the second pack for now and hope to just make the team running maybe 19:20ish for the 6km. So say a prayer for me at 6:30 tonight that I can run and make the team, hopefully without completely breaking my leg in the process. I'll update you all on Saturday.